iwant2beaskinnybitch

What the french?

It occurrred to me today that I spend a good deal of my time nagging my family about what to eat, how much, and when.  They don’t really listen, especially my Son.  Which got me thinking…

My Son is 13.  He eats bologna, mac and cheese, Chef Boyardee, pizza and giant bagels.  He hates milk and only eats vegetables when I catch him trying to toss them in the trash.  He sleeps in.  He plays video games. He watches movies and sits down to play Chess with his phantom chess board or builds Magnetix.  He sneaks and stashes candy and chips in his top bunk.

Why is this interesting?  Because he is thin and lean with a ripped stomach and non stop energy.   How can this be?

He not only eats MORE than me in quantity, but he eats things higher in calories and fat that I eat.  AND he doesn’t loathe himself everyday until he does his Turbo Jam workout.  The most exercise he gets during the day is starting up the Jeep and sweeping the snow off all the windows in the morning before school.

So I’m thinking about mirroring his diet for a spell.  I’m hoping to be able to fit into my 7th grade jeans by summer.

Although I appreciate the beauty of ice and bling, it is not at the top of my “must have” list.  And it makes no difference to me whether it is real or fake as long as it is pretty.  On second thought, I would rather it be fake.

My husband has been begging me to watch BLOOD DIAMOND with him for months.  I am a big fan of Leonardo DiCaprio and really did want to see it, but I have a hard time with violence and torture.  Once those images enter my mind I have a hard time shaking them.  In the end Hubs won out by accusing me of turning my back on some of the world’s ugly secrets.  Damn him.

The movie was fantastic, have you seen it?  We were actually spared a lot of the gore but it was done in such a way that the imagination filled in the blanks colorfully enough.  Leo was amazing as usual.  I wonder does he choose his roles based on his political and planetary passion and awareness?  Or does he become so affected by his roles that it feeds his humanitarian flame?  I feel good when I watch him.  Hopeful.

I admit I was lost a couple of times during the movie but it boils down to the diamonds being used to fund a civil war in Africa.  Young boys were stolen from their families and their families were murdered.  The boys were brainwashed by war lords and made to do terrible things.  Villages and towns were burned, people were murdered, tortured, raped, and mutilated.  Very sad, disturbing, outrageous.

Another layer of the story is that in addition to the bloodbaths involved in mining the diamonds, the diamonds are smuggled, identified, and traded illegally.

On top of that, the biggest diamond buyers in the West are buying up all those diamonds and locking them away to preserve the illusion that there is a shortage of diamonds and that rarity is the reason for high market prices.

I am told that only a tiny portion of the diamond industry is corrupt and that we can ask for “conflict free” diamonds which come from conflict free areas and mining situations.  They have certificates and everything.  Woohoo!  Considering that the diamonds that financed the war in Africa were certified as being from some place else I am not so confident that all of a sudden everyone involved is legitimate and peace loving.

I am also told that there is now peace in Liberia where there once was corruption and bloodshed, but I don’t know if I’m buying that either.

On the flipside are the claims that there are legitimate diamond mines in Africa supplying Africans fair wages and medical assistance.  If the diamond industry didn’t exist, neither would these opportunities.

So on the one hand we have an industry plagued by violence and corruption, that on the other hand puts food and medicine on the tables of families who desperately need it.  What’s a concerned person to do?

My mind goes back to the Western diamond industry.  Do you believe it was an isolated incident that one single company was turning a blind eye to the horrific activities in Africa, then hording the diamonds at home in order to drive up diamond prices?  I do not.  I believe the temptation is too great and the wrong doings are too far away making it easy to ignore.  If there is not anyone exploiting the situation now, there will surely be someone to do it again once we have all forgotten our “shock” and moved on.

I believe that the diamond industry in a sham.  We buy them because it has become our custom.  We have been told, by the diamond industry, that the rule of thumb for cost is 2 months salary.  How can we, smart people, accept that as a truth? The diamond industry has manipulated the business and named its price.  And we keep buying it all, the diamonds and the bullshit.

Sadly, I am sure America will eventually forget all about how “upset” they were when they first became aware of the high price Africa has paid to supply our brides with their fairy tale weddings.  We cannot be too hard on the diamond buyers for mastering “see no evil” in order to plump up their business.  We are all masters at turning a blind eye when it comes to obtaining things we really want, aren’t we?  Go ahead, demand that wedding ring to inspire awe among your friends, the rare and luxurious fur, or that tender juicy cut of meat.  The atrocoties are committed so far away it’s easy to justify, rationalize, and forget.  After all, you are entitled to it, right?

I am not a big fan of my neighborhood.  It is snooty and antisocial. But even though I do not care for the people, I consider myself a good neighbor. Or at least I did. Today, I change my tune. I turn over a new leaf. I give people a taste of their own medicine.

Hubs and I have lived here since 1996 when the subdivision was brand new and there were very few houses. It has built up significantly over the years but you wouldn’t know it by the comaradarie around here.

Even so, I smile at everyone as they pass by.  I buy SOMEthing from every kid that wanders to my door. I keep an eye on the neighborhood kids when they wander near our house.  I stick the sprinkler under the trampoline for the kids to jump and I take out popsicles and chips on hot days when the kids are having long spells of fun.

I should clarify, I am being neighborly, not trying to build relationships.  I love watching my kids have fun and I enjoy (some of) the neighborhood kids.  I have already determined I don’t have anything in common with the folks around me.  I am not nosy and don’t wish to know what is going on behind closed fences.  But I would like to be on smiling/helpful terms.

Anyway.  Here is what is gnawing at me today.  When big snow hits, my hubby snow blows as many houses around us as he can get to.  Even the ones who keep their heads down to avoid contact with others.  He starts with the old folks and the ones he knows do not have snow blowers and works his way around.  He doesn’t wait for acknowledgement. He just takes care of business and moves on.

My Husband has been gone for ten days now.  We are on our third big snow and not a person has been by to see if I need help.  Although not neighborly, my neighbors are nosy so there is no question that they have noticed his truck missing for over a week.  They have no trouble noticing every time he is laid off and cannot wait to come find out the latest news of the Big Three Automakers.  You can actually see their excitement die away when he informs them that it is just a temporary lay off and that he’ll be back making trucks in a few weeks time.  So I’m certain they know he’s gone.

My Father in Law came over to snow blow on Monday, thank goodness. I would do it myself but there is something broken on the snow blower and Hubs says it will get away from me. After I pick up the kids today I think we will all be shoveling.

I don’t mean to be princess-ish.  My point is not a complaint that I have to shovel.  And I’m not keeping score between me and my neighbors.  But for all the cookies, candles, and Boyscout peanuts I have bought over the years, the help my Hubby has given the neighbors with their snow and lawn care, and the child care-like facility that is my back yard in the summer on my days off, we have received very little.  My Daughter will put on her Brownie vest and trounce the whole neighborhood for about 3 cookie orders. My Son will be sent home from the neighbors for a drink of water if he is thirsty.  And when I get home from work tonight it will be difficult to tell the driveway from the lawn thanks to the snow accumulation.

Princess-ish NO.  Bad attitude yes.  But it’s temporary.  It’s really not in me to be UN neighborly but I do intend to alter my ways.  Next summer I am handing out GENERIC Doritos to the kids who come over and play.  Hmph!

I have never been overly interested in Eva Longoria. I LIKE her. I love Desperate Housewives and have always considered Gabby a fun character, but have never been able to identify with her until now.

Saddling Gabby with weight gain and frumpiness this season did not automatically warm me up to her.  In fact I was sometimes frustrated that she didn’t seem to be evolving despite the humbling kicks she had been taking. Good for her that losing her glamour and money did not take away all her moxie, but she just continued to do mean and stupid things.  I wanted to see her grow.

Well she did grow. She was growing all along, we just didn’t always see it.  The last episode I watched, where Carlos got his sight back, broke my heart. Watching it that night I WAS Gabby. I even got choked up recounting the episode to my husband the next day.

Like Eva Longoria’s character, I have gained weight over the last few years. It is common for that to happen to women after they have children and become housewives. Or is it a stereotype?  I am sure there are many beautiful and fit moms out there so I don’t mean to support a stereotype but since I am one of them, I assume it’s common.

Anyway!  The knee jerk thought is that when the weight starts packing on it is a reaction to the woman’s focus being removed from herself and onto her children, family, and household. Having lost the time and energy to exercise and changing her once healthy diet to grazing mac and cheese and bologna sandwiches, the new mom puts on weight.  It’s not always that simple, though, as Gabby reminded us.

Since the loss of Carlo’s big money career as well as his sight, Gabby has had more on her plate than just child care and macaroni and cheese. She had a household to maintain and a husband to protect. She lied and sacrificed to protect her family. For a moment we are irritated at her old tricks of selling a prized possession of her husband’s. But then we see that she has also sold all her jewelry, shoes, and clothes to make house repairs and pay the bills. Stress and worry can pack on weight just as quickly as bad food and bad habits.

Who among us can identify with those fibs of good intention, sacrifice, and worry?  I know I can.  And watching it happen to Gabby brought on realizations of my own, the most important of which being that MY happiness is just as valuable as everyone else’s and that putting it on the back burner is not the way to provide for and protect my family.

So this year my list of New Years Resolutions was influenced in part by Eva Longoria’s character, Gabrielle, on Desperate Housewives.  In addition to that, I learned that an actual resolution of Eva’s is to give up meat this year. Who knew we had so much in common?!